Watch a Video With Me!
by CanIHaveAHug
Summary: The entire population of Berk and its dragon have... What's this... fans! Wat! Well, it couldn't hurt to see some of the things their "fans" have done for them... it's not like any of them could be any crazier than Dagur, right? (Set after all episodes of Riders/Defenders of Berk have finished, but before HTTYD2.)(Rated T for occasional harsh cursing and just being safe.)
1. Introduction

When Hiccup and Toothless woke up this morning, they expected to wake up on the second floor of the Haddock household, when Toothless was sleeping on the rock slab under the window and Hiccup sleeping in his bed.

They weren't expecting to be woken up curled up next to each other (which isn't so bad) in a huge, dark, spacious room with all the other Vikings and dragons of Berk milling around, rubbing their eyes, having no idea where they are (which is fairly bad).

"Hiccup!" A feminine voice calls. The boy in questions turns, and a blond female wearing a spike skirt and blue shirt runs up to him. "Hiccup, what's going on?"

"I-I uh… I don't know." Hiccup stammers just as Toothless was standing up, shaking his head in confusions.

A few feet away, Stoick the Vast and Gobber the blacksmith were having a similar conversation.

"Gobber, where in Odin's name are we?!" The chief demands, the questions not directly at his friend, knowing he probably wouldn't get an answer.

"How shud I know?" Gobber snaps.

Understandably, everyone else, dragon and human alike, were sharing the same thoughts with each other.

"Where are we?" "I don't know." "Are we stuck here?" "Why have the gods sent us to this place?" "Anyone see a door?" "I gotta go to the bathroom."

Suddenly, a thunder-like boom echoes across the room, shaking the ground beneath them! Both dragon and human shuffle nervously, and find their eyes drawn to the front of the room.

That wall turns completely white in the blink of an eye, and words begin to scroll across in an unknown language, yet everyone found themselves able to understand it.

"GREETINGS, DRAGONS AND VIKINGS OF BERK."

"What the-…" Hiccup mutters.

More words scroll across the white wall, replacing the words from before. "My people and I have watched you all from afar, for several years now. We admire your courage, wits, and strength. In your honor, we create tributes such as stories, poems, art, and so forth."

The Berkians murmur their approval and appreciation, but also their confusion. There are people… watching them? And basically _worshipping_ them? It sounded so unreal, and unlikely, but lots of unlikely things happen in Berk.

"Many of us especially favor a boy and dragon named Hiccup and Toothless!"

_Oh,_ the vikings thought, rolling their eyes. _That explains a lot._

"But not to worry," the words continue, "we love you all as well! 3"

"What's that symbol at the end?" Snotlout blurts out.

Hiccup tilts his head. "I think it's supposed to be a sideways heart."

"Correct!" appears on the wall. "Because we love you all! Now today, we have decided, that we are going to show you a few videos! Videos are a bunch of moving pictures, strange as that sounds to you. The videos we will present to you today are called spoofs, or cracks. They are comedies based off of other products.

"You should _also_ keep in mind that we are from the future, and we have a few images of you teens when you're all grown up. Twenty-ish"

"Alright!" Snotlout cheers, "I bet I'm gonna look _awesome_." The other teens roll their eyes at him.

Hiccup, not paying attention to his self-absorbed cousin, shares a glance with Astrid. "Us at 20… Please tell me I'm not the only one who thinks that's creepy."

"Nope, you're not the only one." She replies.

Toothless nudges Hiccup with a croon to show the same thoughts.

More words appear. "Now all humans, please sit down on the bean bags that will appear behind you in 3… 2… 1."

Instantly, the sounds of several pops are heard, and all vikings turn to see huge, half-filled pillow-like things on the ground. Everyone glances at each other, and with a shrug, sit. It's not like they could do anything else.

Although nothing appears for the dragons who were also occupying the room, the person creating the words appears to fix that problem. Ledges pop out of the wall, and the dragons wordlessly fly over, settling down into a comfortable position. The considerable amount that didn't, joined their riders and plopped down next to them instead.

Hiccup noted that Thornado and the baby Thunderdrums had been transported here as well to sit next to his father, although they had been living on Dragon Island for a while now.

A few moments later, a yellow smiley face appears on the wall, and words were printed in bold below. "Yay! Just a few seconds till the show starts folks! Now, you should also know that we have modified your memories and knowledge a bit. You will now understand English, which is the prime language used in these videos. We have also added memories so you will all be able to understand the references they make, although you cannot reach the memory of these references by will."

_Oh boy… _Hiccup thought to himself.

"Now," the wall writes, "let the show begin! The first spoof!"

#####

**Sooooo, what do you think of the idea? If you haven't watched spoofs before, I SEVERELY SUGGEST YOU DO. THEY. ARE. HILARIOUS. (most of them, anyway…) The ones I'll be describing here, I'll probably have found on Youtube. Since I'm not good at descriptions, I would recommend actually watching the video. If not, that's okay. I'll do my best to keep the humor alive here. **


	2. Did You Just Touch me! HTTYD SPOOF

**Hi! First video, it's by Nina Kuhar, search it up on Youtube! Its name is in the chapter title!**

** Roxy Emeralds: Don't worry, I will! I'm planning on doing them after I finish Kuhar's though. **

** Nightfury999: Thanks! **

** ScarletShadow011: Thanks, I'm glad you don't think I sucked! ;)**

**Just a note, o/` that symbol is supposed to be a music sign. Anything in between two of those is probably lyrics or a sound that's part of music. **

**Enjoy!**

**PS: But prepare for possibly crappy reactions. ;P**

**####**

**The screen is briefly filled with colorful blocks of the blackout screen, then disappears.**

**Astrid is talking to Hiccup, voice growing louder and hand gestures getting bigger with each sentence: **

**ASTRID: Come on, Hiccup. Don't tell me you haven't been **_**dreaming**_** about the Flightmare. Going after it. **_**Learning**_** about it. **_**Training**_** it. **

**HICCUP: Well, you know Astrid. Duu… Training dragons isn't… the **_**only**_** thing I think about.**

Hiccup and Astrid glance at each other. They remembered this conversation. The Flightmare was coming, and they were arguing about going to it. What's so funny about this?

They got their answer a second later.

**Guitar song plays as Astrid is shown kissing, then hugging Hiccup at Snogletog. **

**o/` "**_**I think about yooou," **_**o/`**__**the singer says.**

A few parents are heard giving a small gasp, then covering the eyes of their children.

**Astrid kisses Hiccup in the cove with the moon reflecting off the lake. **

**o/` **_**"Every morning when I open my eyeees."**_**o/`**

**Astrid is shown grabbing Hiccup's shirt and pulling him in for a kiss after he had woken up for the first time with his new leg. **

**o/`**_**"I think about you— every evening," **_**o/`**

**Astrid kisses Hiccup AGAIN on the lips while in the Training Academy. Hiccup has silly grin on his face after the girl walks away. **

**o/` **_**"-when I turn out the lights. I think about you!" **_**o/`**

"OOooh," Ruffnut and Tuffnut tease from behind a very red-faced Hiccup and Astrid. "Hiccup and Astrid, sittin in a tree-"

"Shut up." Astrid snaps at the twins.

Meanwhile Toothless is smirking Hiccup, who in turn scowls, embarrassed, at his dragon friend.

A few feet off, Stoick and Gobber exchange chuckles. Oh, young love…

**COLORFUL SCREEN flashes again with a BEEP sound. **

**o/`A playful piano song. o/` **

**Fishlegs appears on Meatlug, throwing his arms out in slow motion. Wide spread letters are shaking below him, saying, "# HUG ME!" **

Fishlegs stares, while the others try to stifle their obnoxious laughs.

**COLROFUL SCREEN and BEEP again**

**o/` Soothing guitar, "Goooo to sleeeeep …"o/`**

**Lightning flashes outside the Academy, where inside Toothless and Meatlug are confronting a huge… **

"Is that the Skrill?" Hiccup gapes.

**The Skrill appears to roar and then fall on the ground. **

**Black screen for partial second. **

**o/` "My baaabiiiiiiies…" o/`**

"Creeeepyyy…" Tuufnut whispers just loud enough for everyone to hear.

**COLORFUL SCREEN and BEEP**

**Astrid is beside a glowing river, face partially horrified. Hiccup suddenly knocks her down behind a rock. **

Silence. "Is… Is Hiccup gonna do what I think-" Snotlout starts.

**The COLORFUL SCREEN appears and the BEEP sounds, but fours words appear as well.**

"**Go For It Hiccup!"**

Everyone stares openmouthed. There are a few disapproving grunts from various Vikings.

Stoick's eye twitches. "Did you two-"

"NO!" Astrid and Hiccup say in desperate unison. But it was clear on the other's faces they didn't believe it.

**Next scene shows up, a sheep eating the grass. A claw suddenly appears, picking it up by the wool, and it disappears. **

"**The only problem, are the pests." Hiccup's voice says off-screen with a slightly annoyed tone. **

**Dagur the Deranged appears. **

**DAGUR: I brought the Armada along, and like, a BAZILLION ARMED BESERKERS!**

**Hundreds of flaming arrows fly through the sky and towards them. **

**DAGUR: I care about killing that Night Fury and wearing its skull as a helmet! **

"Sure, good luck with that." Hiccup smirks, rubbing Toothless muzzle, who also snarls softly at the mere sight of their insane enemy.

**Scene changes to burly large man, Alvin apparently, and his men around a stone table with a map spread out in front of him. **

**ALVIN: We sail for Berk immediately. **

**COLORFUL SCREEN again with the BEEP and words are printed: "The **_**Only**_** Problem?!"**

The village laughs, and Hiccup grins sheepishly at them. Back then, dragon raids _were_ the only problem!

**Hiccup is talking to Snotlout with a tool in his hand and a distraught expression. **

**HICCUP: He can't fly! Remember?**

**Pan view to Toothless lying on the ground tangled up in a bola. **

**Switch to Hiccup holding his knife over Toothless, breathing heavily. **

**HICCUP: *shakily* I'm gonna kill you dragon. **

**Switch to Hiccup leaning on his elbows, and Stoick is sitting up a few feet in the background. **

**HICCUP: *whispering* I am so… **_**sorry**_**…**

Real-world Hiccup winces at the memory of when he intended to kill his dragon. Toothless nudges his rider with a whine to let him know that he is already forgiven, and Hiccup smiles appreciatively, giving his friend a hug.

**COLORFUL SCREEN AND BEEP.**

**Stoick and Hiccup are riding on a dragons back, over the village of Berk peacefully. Stoick holds out his arm as he speaks. **

**STOICK: All of my people… **_**Everyone**_** is safe. **

**Switch scene. Hiccup is running haphazardly between wild Vikings, fire in the background. Angle changes just as Gronkle is firing at him. **

_Dragon raid. _Hiccup assumes.

**Switch scene. Hiccup is riding on Toothless, and a huge, white-scaled Screaming Death punches through the ground, rock and debris flying into the air. The monster roars viciously. **

**Switch scene. The Flightmare, glows a luminous, neon blue, blinding the viewer. **

**The COLORFUL SCREEN appears, and the words: "Best Chief Ever!" **

The audience couldn't help chuckling, while the chief himself scowled at the offensive joke. He was trying his best! It wasn't _his_ fault when problems arose!

"They're right!" The twins laugh. "You're the best chief, EVA!"

**Scene shows Hiccup rubbing a wall of ice. **

**HICCUP: That looks like a… **

**The face of a purple-ish monster is shown. **

**The words say in the corner, "That is **_**obviously**_** a skrill." **

Hiccup and Fishlegs feel a bit offended, remembering how it took them a while to realize what this creature was. How is that obvious? They've never seen a real Skrill before, how were they supposed to know what it was so early?!

**HICCUP: *taking a step back**tinge of surprise*…Dragon… **

**Switch scene. The block of ice has been transported to the Academy. Hiccup walks towards it. **

**Words appear. "It's a skrill!" **

**HICCUP: Let's just get a better look at this thing. *turns to his friends* Fishlegs, gimme a slow burn. **

**Camera switch. Distorted vision of Hiccup and Fishlegs peering through the ice. **

**HICCUP: Is… that what I think it is…?**

**WHITE WORDS: A Skrill?**

**FISHLEGS: I **_**think**_** so…**

**WHITE WORDS: -_- Really?**

The brainiacs frown. There is no way it was that obvious. It wasn't!

**FISHLEGS: But I've only seen pictures!**

**WHITE WORDS: *exasperated* Oh, **_**come on!**_

**Scene change. Face close up of Hiccup. **

**HICCUP: *almost sheepishly* Uh… it's a skrill.**

**CLORFUL SCREEN and BEEP again. White words across say, "Sherlock **_**Finally**_** Solved The Mystery!" **

A few seconds of confusion.

"Who's Sherlo-" Hiccup stops when something in his head says, Sherlock was a detective that solved murders.

"Oh right, you guys put memories in." He blurts.

**Scene shows familiar, yet unfamiliar man on the ground arms splayed out on either side, with a Nightfury laying its head on the man's chest. **

Astrid's jaw drops. Actually, every female almost fainted.

Is that Hiccup?! She thought.

**An off-screen voice says, "Gimme me a kiss." **

**Slobber sounds as the Nightfury begins licking at the man's face with its huge tongue. Somehow, the man escapes, trying to wipe off the goo.**

**OFFSCREEN- VOICE: Eeww… You're not **_**supposed**_** to do it. **

**White words fade in next to the Nightfury. "You said 'gimme a kiss.'" and "?" **

**OFFSCREEN VOICE: That is **_**nasty**_**. **

**The Nightfury laughs heartily at him. **

No doubt about it… it was Toothless and Hiccup.

Hiccup just stares. "Is that my future self?"

"Apparently." Astrid replies. "Damn…" she murmurs with awe. "You're hot…"

"What"

"Nothing."

**COLORFUL SCREEN AND BEEP. Scene change. Hiccup and Stoick are standing in front of Thornado, presumably. **

**HICCUP: We should… retrace your steps.**

**Camera change. Hiccup, Astrid, Fishlegs and Stoick are standing together on a little hill to the left of their house. **

**STOICK: Well, this is where I landed. **

_No I didn't._ Stoick thinks to himself with a raised eyebrow.

**Black screen appears, with the trademark BEEP sound. There is a white word on it. "Actually…" **

**Scene change to Stoick landing on the **_**right**_** side of the house. **

**STOICK: *dismounting Thornado* Hiccup! Put **_**this**_** in the Book of Dragons. **

**COLORFUL SCREEN and BEEP strikes again. **

**Show Gobber, waving his hook as he came out of his shop.**

**GOBBER: Iiii've dealt with a Scaldron before. They're sixty feet long, with raaazorsharp teeeeth! **

**Scene change. A scaldron has its massive jaws wide open around a ship mast, with… round teeth?**

**COLORFUL SCREEN, BEEP, and mocking words: "Razor sharp?" **

Gobber shrugs. "Alright, so maybe I exaggerated a bit."

The others roll their eyes. They all knew how their village blacksmith had a habit of overdoing any story.

**Scene change. Toothless and Hiccup are flipping over in the air, towards the glowing river. **

**o/` Guitar strums. Chorus of men: "ooooooooohhh…" o/`**

**Camera view to below Toothless has he flies just about the water, shooting a bit of spray because of his speed. Change view again to Hiccup's face, illuminated from Toothless' glowing skin. **

**o/` Music tune grows higher o/` **

**Toothless is seen firing, and it strikes the new opening to the redirected river, and water spills out.**

**o/` Climactic drum beats o/`**

**o/` "I'm waking up…" o/`**

**Camera view switch. Behind the crew of dragons, as they fly forward, every single one of them glowing. Bright blue, yellow, navy blue, then green. **

"Hey!" Ruffnut complains. "Why didn't we ever get a glowing dragon?"

"Yeah!" Tuffnut agrees.

Barf and Belch roar their complaints. The twins are quick to soothe their pets.

"But we still love you guys too!" Ruffnut assures them.

"Yeah! Of course!" Tuffnut agrees.

**o/` "…to ash and dust," o/`**

**Change view twice as Toothless and the Flightmare are facing off. Glowing brightly in the clouds and night.**

**o/` "I wipe my brow, and I sweat my rust… o/`**

**Change scene. Flightmare is drinking at the glowing river, and as it roars, luminous spittle jumps. **

**o/` "I'm breathing in, the chemicals…" o/`**

**Repeats the Flightmare straightening its back several times, each repeat making the glow a different color. **

**o/` *long, raspy breath**exhale* o/`**

"Alright, who's dying?" Hiccup jokes dryly.

**Stormfly is yellow, flies forward, then down. Toothless, blue, and Meatlug, green, follows the flight pattern. Repeats 3 times, color different each cycle. **

**o/` "Welcome to the new age! To the new Age! Weeelcome to the new age! To the new aaage! Whaooaooo.. whaoaoooao.. whoaoaooa… " o/`**

**Change view to Flightmare roaring. **

**Change view. The three dragons are pulling together, and create a blinding light. **

**o/` "I'm… RADIOACTIVE! RADIOACTIVE!" o/`**

**Flightmare is squirming in the sky. **

**Change view again, Toothless is examining himself with a (literally) bright smile as his skin begins to glow a dark blue. **

Toothless growls longingly to himself. He wishes he could do that again. It was fun, finding himself glowing, despite the fact that it made hiding harder.

**o/` "Whaooaoao. Whaooaooo…" o/`**

**Flightmare's light grows glaringly. Its jaws open, a bright line in the back of his throat like it was an opening to heaven.**

**o/` "I'm… RADIOACTIVE, RADIOACTIVE…" o/`**

**Music abruptly stops. Scene change. The dragons land in Village Square. **

**Gobber and Stoick stare at them. **

**GOBBER: You're dragons 'r glowin'.**

"Thank you for that _amazing_ observation, Gobber." Hiccup snickers.

The blacksmith glares at his apprentice while the ones laugh at the bluntness of Gobber's tone.

**COLORFUL SCREEN and BEEP.**

**The unfamiliar handsome young man from before starts looking into the distance, dusting something off his head.**

Astrid whimpers again. _When_ did Hiccup get so hot?

Hiccup, hearing Astrid, shuffles uncomfortably, looking at himself on the screen. However, it sets a spark of hope for him in the future. Meanwhile, Toothless snorts a laugh. Those two are just so adorable around each other!

Tuffnut tilts his head. "Whoa, what happened to Hiccup?"

**Switch scene. Tuffnut is standing between Astrid and Ruffnut, who are both swooning at something unseen. **

**TUFFNUT: Whoa. What happened to Hiccup?**

**Show Hiccup's sexy face smiling again, then switches back to the trio. **

**ASTRID: *dreamily* Who carrrres…?**

Somewhere behind, Snotlout was frowning in jealousy. Astrid should be dreaming of _him_, not that fishbone amputee! Even if he somehow managed to look a bit better, no one on the island could look better than Snotlout Jorgenson!

**COLORFUL SCREEN and BEEP. **

**Dark close up of Fishlegs. **

**FISHLEGS: Then there's Astrid! She's **_**mean**_**!**

**o/` "Come on! Mmm… yeah, come on!" o/`**

**Show montage of Astrid punching, grabbing, kicking people. **

A few former victims wince, subconsciously rubbing their past injuries as though fresh.

**o/` "Lalalalalaalala…" o/`**

**Fishlegs is doubled over next to Astrid and Hiccup. **

**FISHLEGS: Why is always **_**violence**_** with you?!**

**Show more montages of Astrid beating up people. **

**o/` "Heeey… boy, you never had much gaaame… So, I needed to upgraaaade…" o/`**

**Show Astrid throwing her axe with deadly accuracy. **

**o/` "So, I went and walked away, way, way… Now… I see you been hangin' out… with that other girl in tooown… laughing like a pair of clowns, clowns, clowns…" o/`**

**Astrid is next to Hiccup with a hand on her hip. **

**ASTRID: It's not violence, its communication. **

"_How_ is that communication?!" Fishlegs demands.

**Angle change. She punches Fishlegs in the stomach, and his face is pure agony. **

**Screen goes black. **

**o/` "Remember all the things you denied at first-" *fade out* o/`**

**Scene change. Camera is behind Astrid and Hiccup. They are facing Snotlout, Fishlegs, and the twins. **

**SNOTLOUT: *points at Astrid**bluntly* I hate you. **

**COLORFUL SCREEN and BEEP.**

A quick ripple of laughter crosses the audience.

**Show Hiccup falling into the fiery explosion. The Queen had just been defeated. Toothless is diving after him in slow motion. **

**HICCUP: *off screen* You save me…**

**Scene change. They are underwater, and Hiccup goes limp after unsuccessfully trying to free Toothless from the chains. **

**HICCUP: *still off screen* I save you. **

Toothless gives his rider a look. It was actually kind of true… The dragon did most of the saving. But still, he loved his rider, who was currently giving Toothless an appreciative and apologetic smile.

On the other hand, Snotlout was grinning his butt off. Good ol' useless Hiccup was back!

**COLORFUL SCREEN and BEEP with words: "Best Save Ever!" **

**A loud roar is heard, and the teenagers cover their ears. Snotlout comes in on Hookfang, presumably the one who was yelling. **

**FISHLEGS: *irritably* **_**What**_**, in the world was **_**that**_**?**

**SNOTLOUT: **_**That**_**, was a Changewing call, my friend. *leans on Hookfang's horn* *smugly* I'm surprised you didn't know that.**

**Switch camera view to Fishlegs.**

**FISHLEGS: I **_**would've**_**, if it **_**sounded**_** like one. **_**This**_**, is a Changewing call. **

**Fishlegs bellows out a harsh sound. **

**Screen goes black, and a white word says, "Actually…" **

**Switch scene. Changewings surround Fishlegs, and each one bellows a little deeper than Fishlegs had. **

"Ha!" Snotlout laughs. "See? Even you can't do it!"

**Switch back to Snotlout who scoffs, trying to save his dignity. **

**SNOTLOUT: Pfft, ka… *gesturing* Bet you can't do a Thunderdrum! **

**Camera to Fishlegs, who give the "seriously?" look, with the words "Challenge Accepted" underneath. **

**FISHLEGS: *holds out his hand* Puh-**_**leez**_**. **

**He unleashes a deep roar, visibly disorienting Meatlug. **

**Scene change to several Thunderdrums roaring, sounding fairly similar. **

**COLORFUL SCREEN and BEEP with words, "Eh, close enough." **

"Did that sound like a Thunderdrum to you?" Hiccup asks.

"He totally had help from Meatlug in the background." Astrid says, crossing her arms. "There is no way that's all human voice."

**Hiccup is facepalming. **

**HICCUP: How many times has this kid been hit by lightning?!**

**Switch camera to Tuffnut and Snotlout. **

**TUFFNUT: Often enough. **

Hiccup remembered this. The Skill had been loose and hit Snotlout, and now he was speaking nonsense. Apparently it happened so often Tuffnut realized how to translate it.

He still didn't get that.

**SNOTLOUT: *intangible garbles* **

**TUFFNUT: Twelve? Oh really? *to Hiccup* Twelve times.**

**Switch Scene. Snotlout is being chased by the Skill, with lightning striking far too close for comfort. **

**SNOTLOUT: Oh no. **

**Dragon and rider try to evade the strike, but eventually fail. A bolt of light struck Snotlout's helmet, who now begins shaking and twitching. Underneath, the white words say, "I thought only once?"**

Snotlout rolls his eyes. "Well obviously, I meant in other situations, I got hit a total of twelve times."

Video suddenly goes black, and words scroll across the screen.

"Okay, this is actually me, not the video, but how the h*ll does someone gets hit in the head by lightning TWELVE FREAKING TIMES, AND SURVIVE? THAT'S NOT EVEN SCIENTIFICALLY POSSIBLE!"

Snotlout sneers. "I guess I'm just that awesome."

The words disappear, and for a moment the screen is blank as though the writer doesn't know how to respond. Then, it continues. "Or I guess there's just not enough brain left to fry, and somehow you're body adapted to live without a brain, but whatever."

"Hey!" Snotlout shouts as the others laugh.

"Continuing with the video now!" the words scroll across.

**COLORFUL SCREEN and BEEP.**

**Camera is behind and slightly above a group of people. A huge wing rises into the air. **

The Queen… Toothless thinks, scrunching up his nose in disgust. He hears the other dragons growling softly as well at their former tyrannical enemy.

**Switch scene to Hiccup and Toothless flying upwards, as the rider looks down. **

**HICCUP: That thing has wings!**

**COLORFUL SCREEN and BEEP. Words adorn it saying, "Sherlock just defined what a dragon is" **

"Hey, in my defense, it could've been a dinosaur or something." Hiccup says, crossing his arms.

"Um… son, what's a dinosaur?" Stoick asks.

Hiccup blinks. "I… I don't know."

"Hey! Just watch the 'ideo, would ya?" Gobber's voice suggests from somewhere far off.

**Stoick is running forward, and with a powerful arm, he grabs a spike from the ground and launches it at the Queen. **

**OFF-SCREEN VOICE: *begging* Notice me, senpai!**

**Switch camera. The spike just misses the Queen's eye, and she turns her head toward him irritably. **

**OFFSCREEN VOICE: Please notice me senpai!**

Stoick wanted to ask what a senpai was, but he gets the vague idea he already somehow knew what it is, and decides to take the feeling's word for it. (If that makes any sense.) Guessing from everyone's expressions, they were getting the feeling too.

**COLORFUL SCREEN and BEEP. **

**Astrid is fuming, looking very crazed and angry with her axe in hand. **

**OFFSCREEN VOICE: Astrid's been eating dragon nip … **

**Change view, Astrid is slowly turning to Hiccup, looking like she could kill him. **

**Words appear in the corner as the second off-screen voice speaks. **

**OFFSCREEN VOICE 2: You should run **

"I agree." Hiccup gulps, remembering how much venom he saw in Astrid's eyes when he won in dragon training…

**COLORFUL SCREEN and BEEP. **

**Pan camera to an adorable looking Toothless, who was wiggling and licking his lips. **

**o/` "I'm so excited!" o/`**

**Toothless jumps around, hanging from the beam, knocking down furniture in Hiccup's house…**

**o/` *beat* *beat* "I just can't hide it!" *beat* *beat* o/`**

**Toothless is now outside, knocking down the vikings, with huge, adoring eyes. **

**o/` "I'm about to lose control, and I think I like it!" *beat* *beat* o/`**

**Toothless is now flapping and gliding around with a smile on his face. **

**o/` "I'm so **_**exciiited**_**! And I just can't **_**hiiiide**_** it!" o/`**

**Toothless is seen being chased by Hiccup in the cove.**

**Cut off music. COLORFUL SCREEN and BEEP. **

"They're so cuuuuute!" a little girl squeals from somewhere far off, causing Hiccup and Toothless to blush as they leaned into each other.

**Hookfang stands before Snotlout. He lifts his wings, and suddenly bursts into flames. **

**o/` "HAAALLELUJAAAH" o/`**

**COLORFUL SCREEN and BEEP. **

**Hiccup is sitting on the ground, and he inches his hand forward, reaching for Toothless' broken tail. **

**Toothless lifts his tail, unamused.**

**OFFSCREEN VOICE: Did you just touch me?! **

**Switch scene to Toothless with a horrified/shocked expression as his wings drop to the ground. **

**OFFSCREEN VOICE: What do you want?!**

Hiccup turns to Toothless, still rubbing his scales. "Hey Toothless, would that be your human voice?"

The Night Fury snorts. No way. Not a chance. His human voice would be much deeper, and wiser.

**COLORFUL SCREEN and BEEP**

The video goes black.

Nothing happens.

"Hey, what's with the picture thing?" Tuffnut asks.

"Uugh. You're ugly face scared it into breaking!" Ruffnut groans. She swiftly sends her brother a punch to the nose.

Most of the others ignore them, though Astrid found it upon herself to try separating them.

Stoick frowns. "_Is_ it broken though?"

Gobber shrugs. "Maybe something happened on the other side."

"Or, maybe that was the end of it." Hiccup suggests.

Words silently begin streaming down the blank wall.

"We apologize for the pause. Unfortunately, the next clip you saw would've been a HUUUGE spoiler, and we didn't want that. Between Stoick breaking down, Hiccup fainting and basically all 'round chaos… yeah, no, we didn't want to show it."

"What?" Stoick frowns. "What could possibly be so bad that _I_, the chief of this village, would 'break down'?!"

The words appear instantly in reply. "Eeeeh… it's not actually bad, it's more just… surprising. We'd prefer to let it take its course in the future.

"Just forget about it for now. We will be skipping to the clip after it."

**COLORFUL SCREEN and BEEP**

"But-" Stoick starts.

"SHUT IT STOICK OR WE'LL HAVE TO KILL YOU." The words seethed.

The chief quickly clamped his mouth shut as a mysterious force seems to grab his throat. It was subtle, light, but threatening like it could tighten and snap his neck in a second. Until now, he had never seen hostility from the people who had brought him here, and it seemed they could be very hostile indeed.

The force relents. "Thank you. Let us continue."

**The screen is split in half. On the left side, we see Heather, a girl with jet-black hair and tilted eyes. On the right side, we see… Heather? Wrong, it's Astrid **_**disguised**_** as Heather. **

**OFFSCREEN VOICE: Who wore it better? **

"Hm… tough choice." Snotlout says, scratching his chin in thought. Astrid punches him.

**COLORFUL SCREEN and BEEP**

**Toothless has gobbled up a fish, and licks his lips. **

**o/` "You chewed me up-" o/`**

**The dragon now regurgitates half of it and drops it in Hiccup's lap. **

**o/` "-and spit me out," o/`**

**Toothless is shown hissing at the eel in Hiccup's hand. **

**o/` "Like I was poiiison in your mouuuth." o/`**

**A fish head slides from Toothless' tongue. **

**o/` "You took my light," o/`**

**Hiccup bites into the raw fish reluctantly. **

**o/` "You drained me out…" o/`**

Hiccup laughs. "That… that song actually went pretty well with that!"

**COLORFUL SCREEN and BEEP**

Words appear. "Right! So this is the end of the first video guys! What did you guys think?"

"It didn't show enough of _me_." Snotlout immediately complains.

"Oh for the love a-!" The words stream out a line of curses and annoyed insults at Snotlout.

#####

**Right! So! You guys like it? Did you get bored halfway? Please spare some feedback! **


	3. (P1)This Boy Is On Fire HTTYD SPOOF 2

**I'M BACK. HURRAH! … I guess…? :p Sorry for making you guys wait…**

**Anyway, Nina Kuhar's second video. Some possibly slightly just-a-smidge inappropriate jokes from the vid. BUT WHO CAAAARRES DAAAAWWWG? ON THE INTERNET EVERYONE IS 17! (Not that I approve, but come on… no one ever listens to the age requirements from a website until it asks for your credit card info…) *Cough* anyway… ONWARDS to the video!**

**#####**

**COLORFUL SCREEN and BEEP**

**Stoick smashes his hammer against the bars of (presumably) the Kill Arena. **

**STOICK: I said **_**stop the fight!**_

**Monstrous Nightmare's irises become thin slits. Dissolve scene to its claw trapping Hiccup, who covers his face with his arms. **

**Switch scene. Toothless is scrabbling at the cove walls, desperately trying to climb out. **

**OFFSCREEN VOICE: I can't climb walls; I'm not a kitty cat, okay? **

Toothless raises an eyebrow. (Well… the spot that would've had eyebrows, anyway…) Who would dare compare him, a ferocious and deadly hunter, to a wee little ball of fluff?

Hiccup mistranslates his dragon's expression. "Heh, you sure that's not your human voice, bud?"

The dragon huffs, annoyed. Hiccup laughs and leans back against Toothless' warm side.

**Show extremely distorted, waving image of Hiccup. His eye seems to bulge out at one second, then his chin bulges a second later. **

Practically everyone leans back in surprise.

"Dude!" Tuffnut bounces up. "Your face totally looks like nuclear radiation hit! Awesome!"

*video pause* Cricket. Cricket.

White words appear on the screen. "Tuffnut… How… Do you know… What nuclear radiation is…?"

"Well you see," the male twin blinks. "What are we talking about again?"

"…. Let's just start this clip over…"

**Show extremely distorted, waving image of Hiccup. His eye seems to bulge out at one second, then his chin bulges a second later. **

**O.S. VOICE: *horrified* WHAAAAT ARE YOU? WHA-WHAT THE F******CK? *half-laugh* **

"Watch your language!" several angry parents shouted.

The blank screen with white words appears. "Don't worry, your kids can't hear any of the jokes with curse words in them. :)"

The little kids moan, hate being left out from… whatever was being said.

**COLORFUL SCREEN and BEEP**

**Show Stoick outside the Main Hall doors. **

**O.S. VOICE: Yoo- hoo! **

**Show Gobber coming out the doors with flowers in his helmet and a purple sheet wrapped around his prosthetic hand. **

**GOBBER: Where's my little Gobber? Great Auntie Rose wants to give him a bi-i-i-i-ig kiss!**

"May Odin help you, Gobber." Hiccup says, gulping down his laughter unsuccessfully. The line practically breaks the wall of respect they had for their blacksmith at the moment, and everything tumbles into laughter, not excluding the dragons.

Gobber simply grumbles something about ingrates and undies.

**Stoick pushes Gobber back with a hand, who is currently making puckering noises with his lips.**

**STOICK: *exasperated* See what I mean?**

**Show Snotlout, Ruffnut and Tuffnut. **

**SNOTLOUT: *whispering* It's sad when they get old…**

"Oi!" Mildew complains.

**COLORFUL SCREEN and BEEP**

**Astrid is holding out a tray with two cups and a pitcher on it. Yaknog. Oh Hel. **

**Snotlout is trying a cup of the disastrous excuse of a drink, and appears to be choking on it. Meanwhile, Astrid is giving offscreen characters a smug look. **

**o/` "My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard…" o/`**

**Astrid is carrying the tray down the street with a cheerful expression. She runs up to her friends with the yaknog. **

**o/` "And they're like, it's better than yours, dam right, it's better than yours…" o/`**

**Astrid pours the jelly, barf-like substance. Tuffnut gives an expression of withholding bile. **

**o/` "I could teach you, but I'd have to charge. My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard… o/` **

Snotlout and other victims of the poison hold their stomachs. Oh yeah. The taste was coming back now. Oh gods, water. Need. Water. Now.

Astrid was also holding something. Her head. Between her knees. Cause she understood what the song meant. "I'm not perverted I'm not perverted I'm not perverted…" she chants to herself.

**COLORFUL SCREEN and BEEP**

**Hiccup lands on a ship deck in an epic pose, in which Astrid quickly follows. Switch scene to Astrid doing a ninja flip over a bush.**

**O.S. VOICE: And some **_**serious**_** spy sh** went down. **

"Look out people, we got two James Bonds here!" Tuffnut yells.

**COLORFUL SCREEN and BEEP**

**Dagur the Daranged turns around to face the camera, a devious smile on his face. **

**DAGUR: The girl? Oohoohoo… Gooood…**

**A black box appears over Dagur's face with the words CENSORED plastered on it as the video begins making weird slurping sounds. **

There is no number to describe how many disgusted looks were tossed at the screen, or more specifically, Dagur.

**COLORFUL SCREEN and BEEP**

**Stoick pushes through crowd. **

**STOICK: Out of my way!**

**Astrid pushes through another crestfallen crowd. White words at the top say, "Move peasant!"**

**Toothless is battling in the Kill Arena, sweeping several Vikings away effortlessly with his tail and wings. At the top, white words briefly say, "Out of the way, peasants!"**

**Switch scene. Toothless is battling another group of vikings, Berserkers upon further scrutiny, and white phrases say in separate corners, "Worthless Humans!" and "Move, you peasant!" **

"Why is everyone described as _peasant_?!" Stoick demands angrily.

Blank screen… "Would you rather be a pheasant?"

"A what?!"

"You know… a bird? No? Okay, back to the vid."

**COLORFUL SCREEN and BEEP**

**Snotlout, the twins, and Fishlegs are on their dragons, flying towards the Red Death. (Or is it the Green Death? You know what, screw it, it's the **_**Pink**_** Death now.)**

**SNOTLOUT: Don't worry, we got it covered! **

**FISHLEGS: Yeaaah, woooo!**

**Switch. Pink Death fires at Zippleback's tail, causing them to crash. Switch. Gronkle crashes, with Fishlegs on it. **

**FISHLEGS: I'm okay!**

**Gronkle flips over and crushes him. **

**FISHELGS: *muffled* Less okay…**

**Switch. Snotlout is not on the Nightmare, and nearly falls off the Pink Death's head and hundreds of feet to the ground below. Which wouldn't have been so bad… Kidding!**

**COLORFUL SCREEN and BEEP and "Totally under control" **

"Yeaaah…" Hiccup says sarcastically. "Absolutely…" _Well… they still helped, so… _

**Hiccup is gliding through the air with Toothless. **

**HICCUP: *muffled..?* What do ya think, bud… you wanna give this a shot?**

**TOOTHLESS: *grumble that sounds a bit like "no"* **

**HICCUP: Toothless, it'll be fine!**

**Black screen. **

**Switch to Toothless shrieking as he plummets to the ground. Words in corner say, "It will be fine, you said!"**

Toothless shakes his head in wonder. _This person practically reads my mind. _He thought.

**COLORFUL SCREEN and BEEP**

**Stranger in armor standing on an unfamiliar dragon erupts from the clouds. Show Hiccup's surprised, and also wary face. Stranger points at him with their staff. **

**ASTRID's O.S. VOICE: He's **_**never**_** where he should be. **

Hiccup tilts his head. "I don't get it."

Snotlout puffs out his chest. This was his chance! "Ha! _I_ get it! Not so smart, are yah, Hiccup?"

Toothless growls threateningly at him, but Hiccup waves him off with a mischievous "I-got-this" face.

"Well then, please, do explain." Hiccup says, "I am intrigued."

Snotlout goes white. "Um… well… uh…"

Hookfang shots a tiny, but noticeable fireball at the floor between them, with an irritated expression as he gestures to the screen.

**COLORFUL SCREEN and BEEP**

**Zoom out from Hookfang's judgmental expression, to Snotlout talking to Gustav. **

**SNOTLOUT: **_**This**_** is Monstrous Nightmare. The most **_**lethal**_** dragon, in the known world. **

Hookfang sits up proudly, though he fails to notice the others trying hard to withhold their scoffs and raised eyebrows.

Fishlegs holds up a hand, excited to begin another rant about dragon danger levels or something… "Actually,-"Some weird invisible hand grabs both his lips and slams them shut.

"Shush, Fishlegs. This is one of my favorites." A voice hisses in his head. Fishlegs would've wondered if that voice belonged to the person who brought them, but of course you know… then the sound of the voice vanishes from his memory. -_-

**Switch scene. Gustave repeats what Snotlout had told him. **

**GUSTAV: Monstrous Nightmare… the most lethal dragon in the known world! **

**Switch scene. A Nightfury roars and bounds toward the camera with a dangerous expression. Switch. Nightfury blasts a hole through the bars to the Kill Ring, and dives in before anyone can blink. **

**Switch. Toothless is holding very well against the Nightmare, and shoves him off. **

**Switch again. Toothless is fighting Nightmare again **_**while he's on fire**_**, and jumps off without a scratch. **

**Switch to close up of Toothless' face, accurately described by the words above it. **

"**Yeah right." **

Everyone bursts into laughter as **the Nightfury makes a motion like shrugging, and walking off.**

Near the front of the audience, Gustav was ashamed to say he was torn. He loved Fanghook of course, who sat next to him with a huff, but Nightfuries looked so cool!

**COLORFUL SCREEN and BEEP**

**Astrid grabs Hiccup and gives him a quick peck on the cheek. **

**Hiccup's mouth isn't moving, but his voice speaks. **

**HICCUP: Yeah you're kinda grossing me out too. **

Astrid turns her head slowly, and looks at Hiccup.

Hiccup holds up his hands. "Whoa, whoa, whoa, you know I didn't actually say that! Tha-that audio was- it was probably from, you know, another time, and-"

Astrid holds up a hand, silencing him. She smiles a bit. "I know. You're just cute when you stutter."

Hiccup begins blushing furiously as Stormfly and Toothless begin sharing giggles at the tomato-red boy.

***beat* Astrid punches Hiccup.**

**COLORFUL SCREEN and BEEP**

**Hiccup is watching Stoick dismounting from Toothless. **

**STOICK: Same time tomorrow, Toothless? **

**Switch scene. Dagur's face is furious, and he points at something past the camera. He speaks each syllable strongly.**

**DAGUR: Get me my **_**Nightfury**_**!**

"_Your_ Nightfury?" Hiccup snorts. "Toothless belongs to no one."

**Toothless snarls at Dagur, who is stupidly beckoning him. **

**DAGUR: Okay, Nightfury… Come to daddy. **

"Seriously?!" Hiccup cries, face-palming.

**Switch scene to close-up of Toothless' face. He seems to be giving the "Really. Just really." face. **

**A phrase appears in the corner, followed by another in the opposite corner. **

"**Calm Down, ladies." And "Plenty of Night Fury to go around." **

This time Snotlout snorts. "Yeah right. Toothless practically sits on Hiccup, he ain't giving _anything_ to _anyone_ but him."

Crickets, as they all stare at the black-haired boy who clearly got his in the head with lightning too many times.

**COLORFUL SCREEN and BEEP**

**Stoick and Gobber are standing on the docks. A group of Vikings pass by, each making a comment that sounds like someone died. **

**VIKING 1: Congratulations Stoick! Everyone is sooo relieved!**

**VIKING 2: Out with the old, and in with the new, right?!**

**VIKING 3: No one will miss **_**that**_** old news!**

**VIKING 4: The village is throwing a party to celebrate!**

**Switch scene. Another, apparently different group of vikings. **

**VIKING 1: Is that Snotlout? **

**VIKING 2: Uh-oh, Is he dead?**

***silence* **

**VIKING 1: *throws fist in the air* Viking funeral!**

**Everyone much bursts into cheers. **

**VIKING 2: Hurry and bring out your dead Vikings!**

**COLORFUL SCREEN and BEEP and "Guess they like dead kids"**

The underlings of Berk begin giving their Elders distrustful looks.

"That is in no way true!" Stoick defends.

"Mmm…" the twins smirk. "I'm sure…"

**Older, sexy Hiccup is straightening up and looking into the distance. **

**o/` play song: I'm Sexy and I Know It o/`**

**o/` "I'm sexy and I know it." o/`**

"Do you, Hiccup…?" Astrid murmurs dreamily. Slight sweating to the neck is now added to Hiccup's embarrassment symptoms.

**Show younger Hiccup sitting on a window sill, bending over, leaning his elbow on his legs, and giving a painful "Do-I-have-to?" face.**

**o/` synth beats "AYE!" synth beats o/` **

**Show Older Hiccup smiling.**

**Switch to Younger Hiccup standing on a ledge, looking at something in the distance. Toothless is coming up behind him. **

**Close up of Younger Hiccup's face. He looks strangely handsome at this angle with his fiercely determined expression. **

**Switch scene. Camera is slightly behind Astrid, and Hiccup is making the kissing gesture.**

"Whoa, whoa," Snotlout stands angrily. "Since when were you brave enough to ask for kisses?!"

Neither Hiccup nor Astrid respond, but merely share a glance. Well, actually, Astrid is glaring at him to keep his mouth shut, cause for some reason she remembers Hiccup teasing her about her bet where the punishment was that she would kiss Snotlout on the lips.

"Don't you dare say any-"

"I won't say anything."

"No, but that person is." Ruffnut points out, hearing them.

The two humans turn to looks at the black screen with words scrolling across. The rest of the audience give uncomfortable, or confused looks at the words that appear.

"You still haven't done the bet, Astrid."

Astrid blinks, then subconsciously makes a grab for her axe, which was not there. "I'm not doing it."

"It's just a kiss!"

"I'm still not doing it!"

"Oh come on! You seem fine kissing and daydreaming about Hiccup here!"

Oh dear. "WHAT? That's- he's- Do you even know whose kiss we're talking about?!"

"YES. SNOTLOUT JORGENSON."

Schist. Oh no.

Snotlout blinks. "Wait, what about me?"

"SNOTLOUT, KISS ASTRID!"

"Huh?"

He barely has time to get the syllable out before somehow, he finds his body transported 7 feet, in less than a second.

Oh, and by the way, his face was an inch from Astrid, and due to his stumble, his face falls riiiiight ooooon….

*SMOOCH*

Shocked gasps. Silence. For 5 seconds. With Snotlout kissing Astrid, smack on the lips. For a moment, both look astounded, until Snotlout begins to smile, close his eyes and wrap an arm around his girlfriend's wai-

*pop*

"NOPE." Astrid screams, shoving him off her. "NOPE NOPE NOPE." She proceeds to kick him in that special man spot, then punch him so hard, he sees stars.

She hurriedly picks up a bucket that had appeared out of nowhere, and hurls in it. An acidic smell begins wafting through the air, and choking noises accompany it.

The others reel away in disgust, but Hiccup is still Hiccup. He smacks her back until the coughing subsides, and automatically hands her a damp rag from his pocket. (_Where the heck did that come from…? Whatever…_)

"Are you okay?" he questions, concerned.

Astrid finishes wiping off the slime from her face, and swallows, nearly barfing again at the bitter taste on her tongue. She screams a thousand curses at the person who had just forced that situation with a very colorful set of sailor-worthy vocab, but pushes it back to smile at Hiccup. "Yeah… yeah, I'm fine."

There's a popping sound, and the bucket and rag disappear from Astrid's hands.

"Well…" the mysterious writer's words say across the screen. "That uh… was unexpected… I didn't think you hated him _that_ much… Uh…"

Astrid wanted to take her axe and plow right down the door and face of whoever did this to her. But alas, that demon was not here. She opened her mouth to at least shout a few things on her mind, but was interrupted by a new batch of words flying across the screen.

"SOOOOOOoooo anybody need a bathroom break? Maybe a bit of breakfast? How 'bout some fresh fish for the dragons?"

At that, the dragons leap up in excitement, squawking their longing for food.

With a small "POOF" noise, long buffet tables of bread, cheese, and other human foods and drinks line the front of the room. In the back of the room, fish literally rains form the ceiling. Greedily, dragons rush over, feasting on cod and chicken and much more. In the center of the room, and small cubicle that can hold at least 2 large Vikings appears.

" :D Great! So uh… Front has human food, back has dragon food. That box in the middle of the room is an elevator that will take you to the bathroom, which has several sinks, toilets, soap, and you know… other stuff. 30 minute break everyone! Then we'll continue with the video… BYE!"

#####

**So, how do you judges think I did? Were the characters OOC? Anyone confused? Bored? Complaints or criticism? IS THERE ANYTHING YOU GUYS THINK I DID THAT WAS STUPID?**

***cough* So… How would you guys feel about me doing crossover trailers? You know, the ones where people take clips from another movie to match the audio of a trailer of another franchise? (I feel like there is a proper name for this sort of video but I don't know if crossover trailer is right… XD) **

**Whatever you think, please review! And thanks for reading! I WUV YOU ALL! **


	4. The Insane Intermission

WARNING: No actual video is being featured in his chapter. This chapter probably sucks. I kid you not, I did not double check this, so it's probably really OOC and jumbled.

Also its very long…

But if you want to try surviving this mess… Here goes. The Intermission.

Note:** Bold **means anything shown, or heard on screen. Normal is anything else.

**#####**

Every human in the room didn't exactly feel hungry after Astrid's barfin' episode, but 'cha know what? None of them had breakfast, all of them are thirsty, and the food on those tables smelled _excellent_.

So, everyone feasted. Albeit uncomfortably as the reason was a fuming, blond girl who had scrubbed so hard to clean Snotlout's DNA off her lips that she got bruises, and cut herself with her own nails.

Astrid would have gladly practiced using her axe or maybe go on a ride with Stormfly to blow off the steam and prevent self-harm, but alas, she could not. There was no space. So she settles for untamed muttering and murdering unsuspecting tableware. "That loki-spawned, cow-eating, despicable, troll-faced-" and so forth. You get the idea.

Hiccup, being the only one of the few who might've been able to calm her down, but being the only one willing to do it, briefly attempts to soothe the girl. Hardly a wise choice. He wasn't the one who kissed a first-class arse _on his __**mini**__ arse_.

"So…" Hiccup starts awkwardly. "How… Are you okay?" he asks the girl.

Feel free to facepalm all you want, people. But ask yourself; how do you go about comforting a typically violent girl who was kissed by the most vile, revolting boy you know and you can't even blame him for it because it was ordered on by a mysterious force that would possibly kill you if you ticked it off?

Astrid turns slowly, and gives him a deadly look, cracking her third wooden cup in her fist. "What do _you_ think, Hiccup?"

The boy gulps. "Uhhh…"

The female Viking drinks from her slightly leaky cup and scowls. "Be back in a sec. I can still taste Snot." She immediately drops the beverage, and then storms off to the weird box thing in the middle of the room. What was is called… an… elevator?

Hiccup tosses a sheepish "I-tried" look at Toothless. He's about to go check on Snotlout (poor guy) when…

"-SO DONE. SO _DONE_, WITH _YOU_." The unfamiliar voice booms in the air angrily, shaking the ground like an earthquake.

The dragons rustle at the sudden volume.

"Wait! Roxy! No! What are you doing?! My mic, turn it off_, turn it off_!" another voice screams, fainter, but clearly laced with panic.

"No!" the first voice snaps. There are bumping and squeaking noises as though the two voices were fighting over something.

"Does anybody know what's going on?" Tuffnut asks blandly.

"Give it!"

"It's _my_ stuff!"

"Trust me, it'll be brilliant!"

"What?!" *CLANG*

Silence. "Wha-a-a-at that heck just happened…?" Fishlegs asks nervously.

"Sounds like a catfight in mah ears." Gobber chuckles.

"Catfight? Between who though?" Stoick frowns.

"Awesome! Fights!" Tuffnut cheers. "Love'm!"

"But we can't see it!" Ruffnut pouts.

"Awww…"

"RIGHT!" the first, seemingly victorious voice squeals. The ground shakes again. "HELLO, YOU AMAZING PEEPULS!

"Uh…"

"I AM, the one and only, amazing, awe-inspiring, Roxy Emeralds!" Roxy drawls. "Bob is… well… she's _out_ right now, so I'll be taking over this sto- er… I mean… _event_, for the time being."

"Is Bob that person you just hit with a frying pan?" Hiccup inquires to the ceiling, where the voice seemed to mostly be coming from.

"Why yes, actually! Smart boy!" Roxy cheers. "Wait, how'd you know it was a-? You know what, forget it." She clears her throat. "Now then, I have getting bored with you people. I am also very much in the mood… to play a game."

Toothless growls at the stranger's devilish tone. Even as Hiccup lays a soothing hand on his forehead, he couldn't help feeling worry bubble up. Things were going to go haywire any second now.

"Consider me your new Jigsaw, your Seneca Crane, your W.I.C.K.E.D.!"

There were a few, brief, questioning mumbles until the allusions finally clicked with the modern day references.

Odin, help them.

"Now, to the arena!"

Berk's teens and their dragons suddenly disappear in a flash of light.

"Hiccup!" Stoick yells, before grabbing at thin air.

Suddenly, the front wall, the screen, glows alight with an image.

**Hiccup is scrambling to his feet, untangling himself from a berry bush. **

**HICCUP: Guys? Hello?**

**His screen space is pushed to the left, and takes up half of the screen, divided by a white line. On the other side, Astrid is picking herself up from the sand, glancing at the ocean before her, then the tree line not too far away. **

**ASTRID: Hello?! Anyone there?!**

"What is this…?" the villagers ask amongst themselves. "What's going on?"

**The shards of screen and pushed even smaller to the side. The screen is now separated into 3 parts, and the newest side shows Fishlegs, trembling as he pokes his head out of a cave. **

**FISHLEGS: H-H-Hello? *to himself* Where am I?**

**Screen is pushed to make 4 parts. Tuffnut's face is strained as he's leaning over a cliff, attempting to not lose his one hand grip on Ruffnut, whose pale and distraught expression is obvious as she dangles hundreds of feet above ground.**

The Thorston parents tense. The twins! Their _children_! (Annoying children, but theirs nonetheless!)

**RUFFNUT: HEEEELLP!**

**TUFFNUT: *muttering* Not cool, not cool!**

**Screen squashes into 5 slots. The last slot… is Snotlout. Snoring. In the high branches of a tree, chubby cheeks pressed against the trunk.**

**ROXY: Figures. Well, onto the dragons then!**

"Wait!" Stoick yells. "But where is this?! Where is my SON?!"

Instead of an answer, the screen continues playing.

**Hiccup's side of the screen is replaced with the image of Toothless, face twisted in fury as he scratches, fires, and yowls at the gray stone walls and ceiling confining him. **

**In the sweep of a second, the other slots follow suit, except for different dragons. Astrid's image is replaced by an angry, scowling Nadder. Fishleg's image is replaced by Meatlug, ramming into the walls with all her might, a worried frown creased on her face. The twins' spot is occupied by Barf and Belch, snapping at each other as though in an argument. Finally, Hookfang is seen, raking at the walls with his claws, but failing to produce anything but small sparks.**

**Words sparkle across the top of the screen. "The Insane Intermission!" **

"Oooh, that don't sound good…" Gobber states, eyeing the screen nervously.

**ROXY: *cheery* Welcome guests and tributes, to this year's Insane Intermission! **

**On the screen, the slots are pushed upwards, creating 10 squares, and the teen's faces are shown again under their respective dragons. Every single camera zooms onto the expression of their assigned target, varying with each being. Some were nervous and frightened, some put on a brave-front, and one of them was just sleeping. **(You know which one.)

**The one thing similar to all of them though, was the glancing around, as though listening to Roxy as well. **

**ROXY: I kno-o-ow you're probably all wondering, 'Roxy? What's going on? What is this weird cube I'm in?' Or in the human's case, 'What is this place I've landed in?' Well… Allow me to shine some light on the subject! *Cough* Toothless, Stormfly, Meatlug, Barf and Belch, and Hookfang have been transported to several starting points near the center of a circular maze. The circumference of the maze-**

Tuffnut, who had at some point lifted Ruffnut from the cliff, panting, gives a puzzled look. "A circum-what?"

**ROXY: -will have the occasional peephole to the outside, so the dragons will know if they're at the edge of the maze. Your goal, dragons, is to get to the exit of the maze as quickly as possible. There's only one, and it's a one way doorway.**

**ROXY: On the other hand, Hiccup, Astrid, Fishlegs, Ruff and Tuff and Snotlout, have been put in various spots **_**outside**_** the maze with no supplies but the clothes on their backs. Your goal, lovely little children, is to reunite with your dragons when they come out. **

Astrid frowns, similarly to, unbeknownst to her, several others both in the theater and the arena.

"That doesn't sound too hard."

"Sounds simple enough."

"*roar* *growl* *grumble*"

"A dragon call should work."

"*SNOOORREE…*"

Hiccup's face was creased in suspicion though. "There's no way it would be that easy. There has to be a-"

**ROXY: **_**Bu-u-ut**_** there's a few catches.**

Hiccup deadpans. "A-a-and, there it is."

**ROXY: First of all, the **_**dragons**_** have each been cloned, and one set of the clones have been placed outside the maze, but a fair distance away from the riders. Another set of clones have been placed **_**in**_** the maze. You will be able to tell clones and originals apart by the lack of irises in their eyes, FYI.**

Toothless growls. He wasn't _quite_ sure how he felt about having another him, but the bottom line was that he didn't like it.

**ROXY: Second, while the clones are relatively the same to their originals, I've taken the liberty of adding **_**one**_** thing to their personality… An extremely strong, untamable, and **_**constant**_** bloodlust for anything with a **_**beating heart!**_

Roxy couldn't help but giggle as she watches the reactions. There were quite a few gasps, a ton of paled faces, a couple furious ones, and screaming dragons. Mildew seemed to be the only one who cracked a smile. No mystery there.

The best one though was Snotlout falling out of his tree, as he had woken just seconds before she had announced her second twist.

Oh, this would be so much fun.

**ROXY: And the game begins in 3…**

**The screen fills up with an image of a close-eyed, unmoving Nightfury rising on a metal platform in a shadowed forest clearing.**

Stoick clenches his fists in anger. She shouldn't be able to do this! This was cruel! He knew his child to be a capable one, but this 'Roxy' throws them around like toys!

Roxy was no god. Stoick could feel that in his heart, just as much as his burning aggravation that he could do nothing to save his only son. (And the other children and dragons… he worried about them too, of course…)

**ROXY: 2…**

**Switch to Stormfly, squawking as the outline of a square appears on the wall. **

**ROXY: 1. Let the games begin! And may the odds be ever in your favor!**

**In the span of a few seconds, we see each dragon bounding out of the doorway that had magically appeared, the sound of sniffing louder than ever. **

**Switch to the sight of Astrid, wielding a fair sized branch like a club. **

**Switch to Snotlout, grabbing a large rock in his hands. **

**Switch to Fishlegs scampering back into his cave, wringing his hands. **

**Switch to Hiccup who looks around him with an anxious, but firmly determined expression. **

**HICCUP: Okay… okay, there are brainwashed dragons hunting me down… I can deal with that... *looks around, then takes a few slow steps, quickly turning into a sprint* *mutters* First thing, find a fish, find a fish, find a fish…**

As Stoick watches his son immediately take control of the situation and act on it, he feels a swell of pride next to his worry. But it wasn't enough to quench it.

_Please, be safe, son…_

**Switch to Toothless, who is turning left and meets a dead end. He roars in frustration, and black-fonted words appear above saying, "Dammit!" and he backtracks to turn left again. Camera follows his back as he keeps to every left turn.**

Gobber's eyes widen. "Wai' jus' a second… Are you showin' us what the dragons are sayin'?"

**ROXY: *perkily* Oh yeah, definitely.**

Despite everything, Stoick, alongside several others, couldn't help but think how helpful that would've been if they could do that at home. Maybe then he could make reasonable comebacks when a darned dragon gives him a sardonic look.

**Suddenly, the gas of a Zippleback snakes towards him. The sound of sparks past the wall of gas echo in the hallway, and Toothless jumps around a corner just as the entire hall explodes. **

**Pan the camera around Toothless' face, dark and growling. **

**TOOTHLESS: Oh I really hope that isn't Barf and Belch…**

**Change camera angle to see the empty-eyed Zippleback turning both its heads either way of the crossroads. They had 2 seconds of screen-time before a pitch black blob swerves forward. **

The villagers of Berk watch in shock as the Nightfury they had all learned to become accustomed to as a calm, loyal friend reinforces its title as the offspring of lightning and death deftly and swiftly.

**With the speed of a demon, Toothless bashes the smoke-breathing head against the sharp corner connecting the corridors. Covering its gas with his wing, he reaches over and clamps his teeth over the spark-making head's neck before it can react. **

**Blood splatters on the camera, and it quickly switches to another. **

**Toothless doesn't bother to check his work as he walks away from the motionless corpse of a ripped open neck and a cracked apart skull. **

Stoick swallows, and his old feelings of disgust return from several years ago. _This_, was the monster that they cried out in fear from, hid from, and dreamed of killing. It was such a strange thing to think about, contrasting from knowing the creature that was so steadfast and caring about his friends now.

**Toothless sniffs where the clone Zippleback had come from and bounds forward like a bloodhound, growling softly. **

**TOOTHLESS: If you guys see this, Barf and Belch… *sniffs, then turns left at a crossway* don't take it personally. But I don't have time for crap. I need to find Hiccup before the other me ends up killing him. **

**ROXY: We're all cheerin' for ya, Toothless!**

Stoick feels a twinge of irritation. "You're tha one who _started_ all this!"

**ROXY: *defensively* Yeaah, but that doesn't mean I don't support you guys!**

"_SUPPORT?!"_

**ROXY: *gasp* Ooh, looks like Astrid is in trouble!**

**Switch to Astrid, swerving through the forest vegetation, and narrowly avoiding a line of fire. **

**Switch camera to front view of Astrid. Behind her, an iris-less, red and black Nightmare is aflame, starting miniature fires to every leaf its skin touched. **

**Astrid has reached a small clearing when she suddenly turns around and yowls. **

**ASTRID: YAAAAAAAAAH!**

Gobber is hit with a sudden nostalgia of when she would shout a battle cry before attacking a dragon, back in the days when they used the Kill Ring was for… well… killing. Oh, the days… Not that he missed them at all!

**She jumps at the Clone Hookfang's snout, who responds by shooting another long stream of fire. Astrid pulls her leg up just before it gets torched, then throws her weight at his horn, dragging the Nightmare's face to the dirt. **

**Surprisingly, it seems to calm down, a relaxed, slightly dazed expression on his face and its flames go out. **

The onlookers stare, bewildered. What was that trick she had just done?

Gustav nods in recognition of the detail. He had seen Snotlout do it before, so he himself had used it plenty of times. It was a good way of cooling Fanghook down when he was agitated. Though how Astrid, a Nadder-rider, knew about Nightmare tricks were beyond him.

**There is a rustling behind her, and she swivels around, preparing a battle stance while keeping a foot on the Nightmare's horn.**

**But instead of a dragon, out tumbles…**

**ASTRID: *surprised* Snotlout?**

**SNOTLOUT: *spinning around* *relieved* Astrid! **

**Snotlout begins running towards her, but then catches himself and clears his throat, trying to look indifferent. **

**SNOTLOUT: Oh, hey, Astrid. So uh… how ya doing? **

**ASTRID: *scowls* shut up, Snotty. *gestures to Nightmare clone* Do you know the tickling spot for Nightmares?**

**SNOTLOUT: *smirks* Of course, M'lady.**

Spitelout, Stoick and Gobber's eyes all widen, then deadpan at the raven-haired boy. *Siiiiiigh….*

**The boy with his puffed out chest takes a step forward, only to suddenly be punched in the face by Astrid. **

**SNOTLOUT: Oww!**

**ASTRID: *seething* Only one person is allowed to call me "m'lady," and it's **_**not**_** you. Got it?**

**SNOTLOUT: okay, okay! *winces as he touches nose* My beautiful nose!**

**ASTRID: Is it broken?**

**SNOTLOUT: Yes.**

**ASTRID: Good. **

**She looks down the path where Snotlout had come from while he tickles the special spot under the Nightmare's chin to make him fall asleep. The camera switches from her point of view to her squinting features as she peers into the distance. **

**ASTRID: So, what were you running from?**

**SNOTLOUT: *looks up* It was a clone of Stormfly. I think I lost her though. **

**ASTRID: *eyes widen* *backs away* What?! Nadders are **_**tracking**_** dragons, you idiot! Which means that-!**

**She is rudely cut off as 3 poisonous Nadder spikes pierce the ground in front of her. Not taking a second to hesitate, she grabs Snotlout by the scuff, and drags him away. **

**ASTRID: Run!**

**Just as they exit the screen, the Clone Nadder enters. In a blue font, its squawking is displayed. **

**CLONE STORMFLY: You can run little humans… but yah can't hide! *insert maniacal laughter here* **

Gobber laughs when he reads the "insert maniacal laughter part," though when he catches the glares of the Hofferson parents, he's quick to shut up.

**ROXY: Have fun, Astrid! **

**Astrid glares at the camera following them. **

**ASTRID: Go to Hel!**

**ROXY: *unperturbed* Now then, enough with you, Hofferson. Let's see how our little walking Dragon Wikipedia doing!**

**Switch to Fishlegs, who's running back and forth across the screen, arms flailing in the air, screaming his head off. A Gronkle is fluttering after him with an exasperated look. Its eyes are normal, pupils dilated. **

**FISHLEGS: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! **

**MEATLUG: No! Fishlegs! Hold still! It's me, Meatlug! Please calm down! **_**Fishlegs**_**! **

The villagers blink. Wait, the _Gronkle_ was the first one to get out of the maze? That's… unexpected.

Roxy seemed to be just as surprised.

**ROXY: What? How did she get out so fast?! Hold on a sec, I gotta check something.**

Sounds of clicking are heard, just underneath the sound of Fishleg's continued screaming and Meatlug's coos.

**ROXY: Oooh, I see. I placed her starting entrance at the end of the diameter hall… Yeah… That's too easy… My bad…**

"So they've found each other… what happens to them now?" Stoick questions.

Roxy doesn't answer for a few seconds, but then snorts.

**ROXY: SCREW IT.** **Congrats, Fishlegs and Meatlug! You get first place! **

**The two disappear from the screen.**

A squeal is heard in the back of the room, and then a crash. Turning around, the villagers see Fishlegs headfirst in a pile of fish. Meatlug was currently attempting to pull him out by the foot.

**ROXY: *coughs* So… yeah, you guys are exempt of the game. You can watch the others now though! **

**ROXY: Now let's get back to the dragons!**

**Toothless is sprinting down a corridor, Stormfly in front. **

**TOOTHLESS: Are you sure you smell Meatlug?**

**STORMFLY: Hey. I trust **_**your**_** plan, you trust **_**my**_** nose. Deal with it.**

**TOOTHLESS: Okay, okay. **

**Stormfly stops and steps into another corridor. They seem to be at the end of a hall, as there's only a room in front of them, and a turn to the left. **

**Stormfly gestures to the room with her head. **

**STORMFLY: This was Meatlug's starting point. **

**TOOTHLESS: *looks left, then starts walking down the hall* Time to follow Meatlug then.**

**Toothless begins going into a full-out run down the straight corridor, Stormfly following close behind. **

The humans arch their eyebrows a bit as the Nightfury shows a human-like intelligence. What's next, he'll be repairing his own prosthetic in the forge?

**ROXY: ….*gulp* Mistakes have been made. Mistakes, have been made… Oh, why do I still keep the intercom on…**

**ROXY: Uh… Let's go to Hiccup!**

Stoick and Gobber unconsciously sit up in their seats. Hiccup… Is he okay?!

**Hiccup is rubbing his hands on wall of smooth, rounded stone that goes endlessly in either directions. **

**HICCUP: *muttering* This must be the outside wall of the maze. So the exit must be around here somewhere! **

**The camera follows Hiccup as he runs along the infinite, curving length of the wall, keeping a hand drifting across it as though to make sure it was still there. **

**ROXY: Okay. I've clearly made this arena a smidgen too small… **

**Hiccup seems to smile coyly.**

**ROXY: Oh haha, laugh all you want, Hiccup. But if you plan on waiting by the exit for Toothless, I promise, you won't. **

**HICCUP: *smirk* Oh yeah?**

**ROXY: *mockingly* O-O-O-Oh yeah. Remember? I said the exit only went one-way? That means it can only be **_**seen**_** and **_**used**_** by **_**one**_** side, and it ain't yours.**

**Hiccup falters in his step.**

_So much for _that_ brilliant idea. _Hiccup thinks ruefully. _But she might be lying … But there's not much point in that. _

Hiccup decides that he'll circle the place once, just to get his scent at the edges so Toothless will know he was close, and won't bound into the randomness of the forest.

**Hiccup continues on his way, as though he hadn't heard the girl. **

**ROXY: *huff* Fine, ignore me. I was tryin' to-**

**The roar of a Nightfury rips through the air. **

Cold dread immediately overcomes several Vikings in the theater. Oh no…

**Hiccup jolts to a stop, and a hopeful smile graces his face. **

**HICCUP: Toothless?**

**ROXY: Uh… my friend, that's not Toothless. In fact, you're heading in the direction of the Clone Nightfury's spawn point. …You might want to run.**

**Hiccup takes a step back. Another roar, louder this time.**

**ROXY: Actually, I take that back. You **_**should**_** run. Run! Run like Astrid just found out you destroyed her favorite axe!**

**Hiccup promptly spins on his prosthetic and practically flies off in the opposite direction of whence he came. **

**The camera follows Hiccup for a while, as he dashes away, surprisingly nimble on his fake foot. The camera begins to slow, and after Hiccup had exited the screen for 5 seconds, the camera turns to the wall…**

**And Toothless jumps into existence! He sniffs once, and his ears shoot up along with a gummy smile as Stormfly makes her appearance after him. **

**TOOTHLESS: I found Hiccup's trail! You go ahead and find Astrid. **

**STORMFLY: Got it. *flies off***

Back in the theater, Stoick's heart seems to be wavering between relaxing or clenching even tighter. Toothless was of course, a dependable dragon. But where did that Clone Nightfury just go?!

**Toothless begins to take a step, when something crashes into him! **

**TOOTHLESS: WHAT THE HE-?**

**CLONE NIGHTFURY: Die. DIE. DIIIE!**

**The two Nightfuries claw at each other, and roll across the ground. They are a flurry of motion, kicking and smacking each other, occasionally with a plasma blast to be seen thrown. It's hard to decide who has the upper hand, until… **

**HICCUP: Toothless?**

**Camera swerves to the wide-eyed boy who stands in the shadows, watching the fight with horrified curiosity. **

**The empty-eyed dragon suddenly bounces away from its former adversary, and instead pounces on Hiccup, maw wide as gas builds up in the back of its throat.**

**CLONE TOOTHLESS: MEEEAT!**

**TOOTHLESS: NO!**

"HICCUP!"

#####

A/N Bad? Decent? I'd love a review. :)

A/N 2: And I am deeply sorry for making you guys wait so long… ;_; Can you forgive me?

A/N 3: Videos will continue to be seen next chapter.


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